11/29/2024 ***************************************************** If you remember a while back I (lightheartedly) said the main future use for AI (Artificial Intelligence) will be to generate ever more shocking p*rnography :-) That the history of mankind has been the relentless search for better p*rn. I specifically had in mind Michelangelo's famous statue of David and asked "Do you REALLY believe David was COMPLETELY naked when he fought Goliath? - It's p*rn". Anyway, recently, it started to bug me as to why Michelangelo would choose to depict David that way. So I looked up the story in the Bible for possible clues. The story about David and Goliath is in 1 Samuel 17 and mostly fills the entire chapter. I think most people are at least a little familiar with the story, but I'll summarize it here. A little sloppy but good enough for now. ***************************************************** The Philistine army is on one hill and the Israelite army, under King Saul, is on another, with a valley between them. A champion keeps stepping out from the Philistine side, named Goliath, and keeps talking smack at the Israelites. The Israelites are totally intimidated by this and do nothing in spite of Goliath constantly calling them "a bunch of wussies" [Swezey translation :-] David, a shepherd boy, the youngest of 8 sons, and the future famous King of Israel, had three older brothers in the Israelite army and he came to visit them and bring them some supplies of cheese. David hears Goliath talking smack and asks 'What would be the reward for killing this Philistine and saving Israel from disgrace?' 'The king will lavish riches on the man who kills him, he will give him his daughter in marriage and exempt his father's family from all taxes in Israel.' So David tells Saul he will fight Goliath. 33 Saul said to David, 'You cannot go and fight the Philistine; you are only a boy and he has been a warrior since his youth.' David tells Saul that while tending his sheep, when a lion or bear would attack, he would batter it to death. ***************************************************** [Okay here's the relevant verses for our discussion] 1 Samuel 17:38-40 https://www.bible.com/bible/compare/1SA.17.38-40 38 Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. 39 David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. [Okay, so it says David took off the armor - it doesn't say he put his shepherd clothes back on - so he's naked right? - Of course it doesn't say he DIDN'T put his shepherd clothes back on - the Bible's just plain silent about the whole clothes wearing thing here :-] ***************************************************** David gets five smooth stones for his sling, goes and attacks Goliath. He whacks Goliath in the forehead with a stone that knocks him out, he takes Goliath's sword and kills him with it and then cuts off Goliath's head and takes both the sword and the head back as trophies. When the Philistines saw that their hero was dead, they panic and run away. When the Israelites see all this they get all juiced up and chase the Philistines and slaughter most (all?) of them. David takes Goliath's head to Jerusalem, but he keeps Goliath's sword. ***************************************************** In conclusion, I guess it is possible to interpret the story to imply that David WAS in fact NAKED when he fought Goliath. It seems strange to me to make that interpretation, but I guess it could be. The Bible doesn't say David WAS naked, it just doesn't seem to be clear on the matter :-) So maybe Michelangelo's statue of David isn't p*rn. Ya, maybe :-) ...