The Life and Times of - Pierre Du Frontage - Forgotten Frontiersman.

painting

Many Americans are unfamiliar with the exploits of this famous (most would say infamous) explorer.

He was the only one of all the early explorers to actually visit what would become all 50 States, Canada, Mexico and American Samoa.

Most historians agree that he would have been considered one of the the greatest explorers of all time had it not been for his part in the unspeakable horror that took place in Whitefoot Creek, Wyoming in 1793.

An event so heinous that even today historians argue over exactly what happened there.


statue

Born in Frontage, France in 1647, a town which even today honors its famous son with a statue dedicated in 1867 by the Emperor Napoleon III.

He was the fourteenth son of the Marquis Du Frontage, a great and noble family.

His father had hoped he would pursue a career in dentistry, but soon the call of the Voyagers drove him to seek passage to the New World.


map

When Pierre began his explorations, North America looked like this map, with large yellow areas virtually unexplored by most Europeans.

But by the time he ended his monumental career, railroads spanned the continent.


photo

This rare photo purports to have been taken of him shortly before his retirement in the late 1800's.

Pierre first became controversial after nearly killing Johnny Appleseed in an argument over the latter's preference for Machontoshs (A debate which continues to this day).


comic book cover

Zepp

In the early 1920's the then President Harding pardoned Pierre during the height of the Teapot Dome scandal, having mistaken him for Pierre Du Backage, the forgotten hero of the Forgotten War.

Harding was horrified when he learned he had pardoned "The Villain of Whitefoot Creek" and died shortly afterward.

With his new found credibility, Pierre went on the lecture circuit and even had a dirigible the "Du Frontage" named for him.

He died two years later, shortly before it burst into flames and crashed with 97 people onboard.


actor Fess

In the 1960's, the actor who had played Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone was signed to play his life story in a short lived Television series.

During the filming of the episode concerning the Whitefoot Creek incident, the actor was so shocked that he refused to finish the show.

The series was never shown.


Road Sign

In an effort to escape the pressures of Watergate and point to someone more unpopular than he was, President Nixon proclaimed him an American Legend and declared that February 31th be known for all perpetuity as Frontage Day.

Roads across America were renamed in his honor.

Finally Pierre Du Frontage had received the recognition he so desperately sought.


I hope by now you realize this is all a joke!

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(c) 2004 Thomas F. Swezey All rights reserved.