He was the only one of all the early explorers to actually visit what would become all 50 States, Canada, Mexico and American Samoa.
Most historians agree that he would have been considered one of the the greatest explorers of all time had it not been for his part in the unspeakable horror that took place in Whitefoot Creek, Wyoming in 1793.
An event so heinous that even today historians argue over exactly what happened there.
He was the fourteenth son of the Marquis Du Frontage, a great and noble family.
His father had hoped he would pursue a career in dentistry, but soon the call of the Voyagers drove him to seek passage to the New World.
But by the time he ended his monumental career, railroads spanned the continent.
Pierre first became controversial after nearly killing Johnny Appleseed in an argument over the latter's preference for Machontoshs (A debate which continues to this day).
Harding was horrified when he learned he had pardoned "The Villain of Whitefoot Creek" and died shortly afterward.
With his new found credibility, Pierre went on the lecture circuit and even had a dirigible the "Du Frontage" named for him.
He died two years later, shortly before it burst into flames and crashed with 97 people onboard.
During the filming of the episode concerning the Whitefoot Creek incident, the actor was so shocked that he refused to finish the show.
The series was never shown.
Roads across America were renamed in his honor.
Finally Pierre Du Frontage had received the recognition he so desperately sought.
I hope by now you realize this is all a joke!
(c) 2004 Thomas F. Swezey All rights reserved.